Onesided
by Passivity
Summary: Yzak sees it as a competition, Dearka just wants to annoy Yzak and Athrun just wants to be sweet on his girl.


A/N: Stupid idea that wouldn't leave me alone.

Not proofread.

Probably cliché.

I blame the chibi Gundam SEED Supernova vids for Yzak's characterization.

I regret nothing.

**Onesided**

_-00-_

_-0-_

"Hey."

He was annoying.

"Hey. Hey, Yzak!"

He was so very annoying at such an ungodly time of the day.

"Earth to Yzak, do you copy? Hey, hey, hey!"

Completely shameless with all the disturbances, the hand waves, the cheek poking…

"Hey Yzak." Then he started blowing in his ear. Just for that, it took almost all of his self-control not to just punch the blonde's teeth and tongue in without completely falling off of what little space he was actually sitting on. Of all the places to be caught by the tanned blonde, why did it have to be in his very own office, his sweet haven away from the all the idiots of the universe?

"Dearka, just to warn the dimwit that you are… You either back away right now or my foot will remind you of just how much you've breached my personal space."

The blonde wasn't dumb enough to test him on that but was smart enough to back away before Yzak could even dare to inch the aforementioned foot upward. A wrinkled newspaper was stuffed in Yzak's face before Dearka could completely take a step back from his platinum haired superior. Dearka's obvious intent to get him read something other than signed documents aside, he just had to ask.

"What the hell am I even supposed to be looking at?"

"The front page, your royal grouchiness. Look who's on it for the third time this month."

Said newspaper dropped onto Yzak's lap, revealing to the tanned blonde the horrible grimace that currently occupied his face. He gave Dearka a look that promised hell upon him and his unborn children if the news wasn't even something that he should be giving a fuck about. The blonde just shrugged, turned and sprawled out on the conveniently placed sofa on the other side of the room. The way Dearka's legs and arms were practically hanging over the edge, the armrests and wherever else they could be hanged over irritated Yzak to no end. He wondered for the life of him if Dearka really had no shame or was just too much of a slob to actually right himself into a more civilized position.

"The hell do you think you're doing?"

"Putting some distance between us just in case you decide to go ballistic? Because I'm assuming you will." A delicate and white brow was raised.

Ballistic? Over the everyday piece of garbage that people today called news?

For all he knew, it would just be about some worthless whore's divorce or some kid singer's Ferrari getting totaled by a much cheaper brand of vehicle.

With curiosity finally getting the better of him, Yzak looked down at the paper in his lap, wondering what kind of controversial scandal did the press wrote about this time. "Elseman, as stupid as you are I doubt that I-…"

Both his eyes and mouth hung wide open as his hands grabbed at the paper and brought it up closer to his face.

Dearka knew from the way that Yzak's hands were trembling that the ivory haired man did not like what he was reading.

'**Most Distinguished ORB Admiral Blocks Bullets for Chief Representative.'**

"What-?"

"Yeeeeaaaahhh… Remember that rumor about an assassination attempt on a certain political leader that Zala happens to cum over? It was fucking real."

"Wha-?"

"Says there that, even after taking a bullet to the shoulder, two to the left leg, and losing a terrifyingly large amount of blood that would have killed a normal man that should have killed a normal man… Zala still had the energy to chase after and disarm three of the five assassins and was practically prying a rifle off of one of the soldiers just to gun down the other two."

Silence.

"Aaaannnd that it took a total of ten men to actually hold him still long enough to for an ambulance to get there before his wounds could get any bigger. Who knew Athrun could be so beastly, huh?"

Again, more silence.

The seconds stretched on. Each punctuated by the faint ticking of Yzak's wall clock in the backgrounds and the sound Dearka's own breathing. It would have eased the tension in the room some if only the grey paper didn't obscure what kind of expression Yzak was making.

Silence.

Fearing that he might have broken Yzak's mind, Dearka sat upright and looked at his stunned friend who barely even moved an inch. He wondered how best to snap the white haired man out of whatever trance he was in. "Yzak?"

But before his concern could even be brought across, the sound of paper being torn apart rang clear in the air as a very familiar and hot-blooded voice roared. The hardwood chair that formerly comforted the ass of the easily agitated commander toppled and fell with a loud resounding thud on the floor. "That bastard! First an affair with their Head of State, then a public announcement about some goddamn relationship, now this? What is he some kind of dog near a bitch in heat? He has gone gaga over some blonde in slacks and he's getting more recognition because of it?"

Yup, Yzak definitely didn't like what he read. Who knew that he could actually be so concerned about Athr-.

"As if I'd let him best me that easily!"

Okay… Maybe not.

Abandoning whatever work he previously planned to do before Dearka's unwelcome appearance, the ivory haired man stomped over to the door. He opened it in such a harsh manner that the resulting noise from the doors colliding with the walls made the blonde jump out of where he was sitting. And when Yzak turned to look at him with eyes bubbling with untamed fury, Dearka literally squeaked in fear.

That was a first in so many years of working together.

"What are you gawking for? Get your ass off of that couch and follow me!"

"Eh? What?" The look on Dearka's face was a cross between nostalgic, appalled and highly amused. He cringed under that stare for he really didn't know how to react to that, especially when it made very little sense.

"Follow you to where?"

"Outside, in space, to earth, wherever! I don't care where but hell I'm going to show him that-!"

"Shouldn't it be Hahnenfuss and not me that you're telling this to?"

"No you dimwit!"

"What did I get myself into again?"

...

...

As Dearka and Yzak continued to plot ways of overshadowing Athrun, a different conversation was happening elsewhere. Somewhere in a private hospital in ORB the very subject that started their conversation sneezed.

"A cold, Athrun? Really? One more thing to add to my list of things that I should worry about you."

Turning his head over to the side was proving to be a difficult task no thanks to the fact that his body still felt like it was encased in lead. He smiled, hearing the concern in her voice as she scanned through the newspaper in her hands. He briefly caught the title of the front page about his heroics before Cagalli set it down to look at him again.

"Should I give you a medal for that too?"

"No. Who knows what Yzak might do if the press printed that out as well."

_-00-_

_-0-_

_**Passivity:**__ Hoped you enjoyed the stress induced stupidity._


End file.
